Sunday, August 15, 2010

Emotional Distance....Emotional Infidelity

Emotional distance in a relationship is a clear sign that there's a problem. Regardless of whether someone's always been an "independent" person....once in a relationship, you should see the shift from handling things on your own (depending only on yourself) to an interchange of support and encouragement between you and your partner.

If for some reason you're not feeling that connection...you may want to try to find out why there seems to be this void between you and your partner.

It's sad to say....but when someone begins emotionally distancing themselves from their partner....it's usually because they are connecting on an emotional level with someone else.(Disclaimer: This is not an absolute determining factor that someone is spending time with or getting involved with someone else....this is just to raise your awareness that you may have some things to be on the lookout for.) Some will say that they're just handling things within themselves....but internalizing doesn't usually cause someone to withdraw from their partner. Withdrawing from one's partner usually begins once they feel that partner doesn't "understand" them anymore or they're not feeling the same support they used to feel from their partner.

This is especially dangerous because this can lead to Emotional Infidelity. This is a betrayal of your partner's trust even though it's not on the same level as having an affair with physical intimacy and sex. While it doesn't necessarily break any spoken vows, it can be as devastating to a relationship as physical intimacy/unfaithfulness.

Be careful of the casual chat rooms and social networking sites....because what starts as a simple conversation on a common interest can soon turn into having a "need" to talk to that person on the other end of the computer....more than the need to talk to your own partner. The view of the person on the other end of the computer connection can become distorted and more important than the relationship you've built with your partner. Social networking sites are great if used for their intended purpose and kept in their proper place. If spending more time on your social networking site of choice is more important to you than spending time with your partner....you won't have a partner for long. Don't be naive and say it couldn't happen to you. It happens to people around the world everyday....it doesn't only have to be social networking sites. This applies to emails from "old friends", co-w0rkers that we're a little too familiar with, or people we don't even know who become "friends" of ours.

Bottom line: BE CAREFUL!!! As my mom always told me...."Make sure the choices you make today....are choices you can live with tomorrow!"

Remember.....You're Worth It....but so is your RELATIONSHIP!!!!

J. Earl Smith
@JSmith2523 on Twitter

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