That's a question I've heard a lot of people on talk radio sharing their opinions on over the last month or so. I must say that I'm shocked with what I've been hearing. It's been the overwhelming opinion of many people that it indeed DOES take a man to raise a man. I guess my personal experience is what causes me to greatly disagree with that opinion.
My brother and I were raised by our mother, by herself. My biological father (whom I've never actually met) decided he didn't want to be a husband or father anymore while my mother was pregnant with me and my brother was a few months from turning four years old. So in reality....what could he possibly teach me about being a man? What could he possibly teach me about raising and caring for a family? What could he possibly teach me about being a loyal and devoted husband?
THERE'S NOT A THING HE CAN TEACH ME!!!!
He's not a man.....in any sense of the word. He's less than a man....he's a COWARD! There's no other way to put it! And that goes for any other man out there who has the mindset that raising a child is the woman's responsibility! As radio personality Charlamagne (@cthagod) says on Twitter.....UNLAME YOURSELF!!!
Most people who feel that it takes a man to raise a man are primarily speaking from the standpoint of being raised with a father in their home. So they're just speculating that it's absolutely necessary for a father to be in the home. I can tell you for one thing...with absolute certainty that it DOES NOT take a man to raise a man! Sure it's great to have a father or male influence in a young boys life to help raise him and teach him the difficult lessons....and that is ideal. But let's not say that it can't be done or that a boy raised by his mother alone won't be as tough or as strong as a boy raised with both parents at home.
I take my brother and myself as primary examples. There's not a single person in this world who can come at me or my brother and automatically assume that we were raised by our mother because we're soft or something. Don't get me wrong, neither of us are thugs or anything like that, but we aren't punks either. I've been in my fair share of fights as has my brother....and we've come out pretty much unscathed (for the most part - nothing to be proud of). We've always played sports (football, basketball, we even box)....but who did we learn all of that from? OUR MOTHER!!!
I don't know about every other mother in the world raising children by themselves....but my mother was determined to not raise a couple of punks or sissies but to raise MEN! And she did that. She took us outside and taught us how to throw a football by holding the laces....the proper way to tackle so that you don't hurt yourself, the right way to spread your fingers and snap your wrist when shooting a jump shot (like you're putting your hand right in the basket). She made the determination to learn as much as she could about sports when we were young....and talking to her father and brother's to figure out the best way to discipline boys isn't like disciplining girls.
She ran our house with an iron fist....the way a father would. She sacrificed a lot of herself to make sure that we didn't grow up soft or getting bullied in school. She taught us how to defend ourselves if someone started some drama with us....she put on the gloves with us and taught us how to throw a jab....and a 1/2 combination. If we acted up....or thought we were big enough that we didn't have to listen to her anymore....that got corrected real quick....usually with a slap to the head or a straight right to the chest.
Now some will say that's not the role a woman is supposed to occupy....and I agree wholeheartedly. But if a woman is put into that situation because some "man" decides he wants his freedom....what is she supposed to do? I thank my mother every single day that she decided to put her all into raising two MEN!!! And when the time presents itself that I can take care of her for all the hard work and personal sacrifice she did and made for us......I'm going to take full advantage of it.
So does it actually take a man to raise a man? Look at me.....in my opinion I think I turned out pretty good without one....but then again ask my absentee father if my mother raised a man or not? Chances are....he wouldn't even be able to answer.....because he's not a man himself!!!
Remember......You're Worth It!
J. Earl Smith
@JSmith2523 on Twitter
knourworth@hotmail.com
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